I tried doing this with the Oscars last year (and I'm definitely doing it again this year for that ceremony), so hopefully I learned something this time. Let it begin!
7:07 I usually don't watch red carpet shows, but this year, why not? I need to figure out how I'm going to get screenshots in here anyway, since I don't have DVR. Bear with me, guys, this could be rough....
Also, make sure you refresh the page to keep up!
7:08 I just mistook Sandra Bullock for Sally Hawkins. What's wrong with me?
7:11 Chris Colfer wants Julie Andrews to play his mother on Glee. Um, yes x10000000.
7:14 Jesse Eisenberg looks uncomfortable. He's probably sick of all the "Have you met Mark Zuckerberg" questions.
7:17 Matthew Morrison hopes Steve Carrell wins his category. That's nice.
7:18 Jake Gyllenhaal's breakup beard is "very dapper."
7:19 "Congratulations for Burlesque." How many times have you heard that? Christina Aguilera obviously doesn't know what burlesque really is.
7:21 Justin Bieber is wearing really stupid glasses. I wish my camera would have worked so you guys could see it.
7:22 Angelina Jolie is having to defend The Tourist. Carson Daly's "The Tourist...that was some film:" backhanded compliment?
7:28 Tina Fey sounds a lot like she's in her Liz Lemon character in her interview. Its kind of adorable.
7:29 Jane Lynch's favorite line is "Being in musical theatre doesn't make you gay, it makes you awful." My favorite too.
7:30 Love Amy Adams' dress. Except for that obnoxious bow. Oh, and Bieber wears sneakers with his tuxedo and is escorted by some Asian guy?
7:31 Robert Pattinson? Tan? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? And he's presenting Original Score in Film tonight. "You clearly have no idea why your here." The feeling is mutual.
7:32 Randi Zuckerberg is really cheesin' here. She's clearly here just for hype for both the Globes and for Facebook.
7:33 Colin Firth's hair looks really blown-back. Did he just come through a wind tunnel?
7:35 Kevin Spacey paid tribute to the late George Hickenlooper, who directed him in Casino Jack. And Sofia Vergara was saying something, but my cat sat on the remote and changed the channel. Blergh!
7:42 I'm glad to see Michael Douglas made it to the ceremony. Its good to see him healthy.
7:43 Claire Danes reminds me that, after tonight, Temple Grandin won't be eligible for any other awards. So there.
7:44 Whoa, check out Caveman Christian Bale. Is he playing Jesus next?
7:45 Michelle Williams cut her hair into a pixie cut. I'm sure its freeing for her, since she's had to look like Marilyn Monroe for the past few months filming My Week with Marilyn. What is with that exit music? "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," really?
7:48 Gah! This picture system is NOT working fast enough for me. Of course, I'm taking pictures with my phone, so that probably explains it. Oh its rough being technologically behind.
7:50 Love Anne Hathaway's dress. Gorgeous!
7:52 Sorry about all the extra pictures at the top. This is kind of frustrating. Don't expect too many pictures tonight.
7:53 And so the banalities are coming to an end. We're going to the second "final break" that Carson Daly has promised us.
7:59 We've been reminded that this is the only awards show where the booze flows free. Here's hoping for some really great moments.
8:00 And now we're live! Ricky Gervais is introduced with a pint on his podium.
8:01 He's kicking off with a Charlie Sheen joke. It didn't land well, by the sound of it. Neither did his Tourist jokes, though I thought they were terrific. Thank you, Ricky, for pointing out how ridiculous the comedy nominations are this year!
8:03 And there's our first edit. Gervais is being pretty risque, thank goodness, even though the audience sounds kind of awkward about a lot of it.
8:05 Only scattered applause for the Lost finale? Come on, guys....
8:06 Scarlett Johansson is presenting Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture. She's looking lovely this evening. Andrew Garfield looks like he doesn't really want to be there.
And the winner is....Christian Bale for The Fighter. Next up for him is the SAG and the Oscar, most likely.
8:07 Bale is praising Mark Wahlberg's quieter performance in the film. He's got a point: without Wahlberg's more subtle work, Bale's performance wouldn't stand out as much.
8:09 LL Cool J and Julie Bowen are presenting the Globe for Best Actress in a TV Drama.
The winner is....Katey Sagal for Sons of Anarchy. This is a really great surprise. I've heard so much about her performance on the show; I wish I had the time to check it out.
8:12 Sagal's husband, Sons of Anarchy producer Kurt Sutter, looks a lot like Mickey Rourke. Just sayin'.
8:16 Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey are presenting...actually,right now they're introducing Miss Golden Globe Julie Mantaglia. All she does is nod and smile. Some gig, huh? Anyway, they're doing Best Mini-Series or TV Movie.
And the winner is....Carlos. Wow, really? I can't figure out if this is an actual miniseries or a movie, since its been receiving awards as both. I think it was released in theaters and on TV at the same time. See, this is why I hate multi-platform releases.
8:21 Back to Ricky, who's role as MC is really useless at this point in the ceremony. But's he's introduced Bruce Willis as a presenter, who's just introducing his film RED, which was inexplicably nominated for Best Comedy/Musical.
8:23 Garret Hedlund and Leighton Meester are introducing Supporting Actor on Television (the real title is too long to type). These are the Country Strong stars you probably don't know.
The winner is.....Chris Colfer for Glee. A great choice, if you ask me. He's been the best think about the show so far this year.
8:25 They keep cutting to Lea Michele crying during Colfer's speech. The cast is really excited for him. And I love his little anti-bullying aside at the end.
8:30 Michelle Pfiffer is given the thankless task of making Alice in Wonderland sound like it was actually good. Poor woman, she just can't catch a break at these awards ceremonies! This is beneath her! Why couldn't any of the cast members do this?
8:31 Eva Longoria is now onstage to teach you a little something about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and introduce its president, Phillip Burke.
8:32 Burke begins with a zinger against Gervais. Your move, Ricky.
8:33 Milla Jovovich and Kevin Bacon are presenting Best Actor in a TV Drama. Apparently they're in The Three Muskateers together?
And the Globe goes to....Steve Buscemi for Boardwalk Empire. That's actually pretty surprising to me. He's been such a terrific character actor for years, its good to see him finally get a little recognition.
8:37 Jovovich and Bacon are also presenting Best TV Drama.
And the Globe goes to...Boardwalk Empire. The Globes are usually good for honoring hot new things before anyone else does, and that's the case this year.
8:43 Andrew Garfield is on stage now (British accent and all) to introduce The Social Network. He's stumbling over his words, which is kind of adorable. He's clearly not used to all this stuff.
8:45 Nice Heather Mills dig, Gervais. Anyway, Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez are presenting Best Original Song. They're jokes were kind of lame, but Baldwin is such a ham, I can forgive it.
And the winner is..."You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from Burlesque. Great song (CHER!).
8:47 I can't figure out if these lapses in audio are blackouts or edits. Anybody have some insight? Diane Warren's bit about the speech on the napkin her dad gave her was sweet.
8:49 Baldwin and Lopez are presenting Best Original Score too. R-Pattz, you're a lying whore!
And the winner is...Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for The Social Network. You guys probably know them as Nine Inch Nails. How crazy is that: Nine Inch Nails are now Golden Globe-winning composers. Is Oscar next for them?
8:52 I've given up on this picture thing. I'm sorry, but this is way too difficult to do. By the time the Oscars roll around, hopefully I'll have figured out a better way to do this.
8:55 Justin Bieber is presenting Best Animated Feature with Hailee Steinfeld. I can practically hear every tween girl in America sending her death threats now. She's got very clear diction, though anybody who's seen True Grit knows that.
And the Golden Globe goes to....Toy Story 3, to the surprise of absolutely no one. I can't believe they showed that part of the movie!
8:57 "Wow, were you two even born when the first Toy Story came out?" Thank you, Lee Unkrich, for making me feel old.
8:59 Robert Downey Jr. is on deck to present. I like his joke about the mean-spirited nature of Gervais so far, and the one about sleeping with actresses.
9:01 Emma Stone is a blonde now. How do you feel about that? Also, RDJ's joke is now dragging on far too long.
9:02 And the winner of Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical is....Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right. I don't think anyone thought this wouldn't happen, but I'm glad she won. Once Natalie Portman wins Best Actress in a Drama, it will officially set up the showdown for the Oscar. Though wouldn't it have been great to see Moore or Stone win?
9:04 I like La Bening's hair. She's got such a mighty presence on stage. "And Mark Ruffalo, our awesome sperm donor." I love that sentence so much.
9:10 Sylvester Stallone is introducing The Fighter, for no reason it appears other than the fact that he is Rocky.
9:11 Geoffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton are presenting Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie. Tilda just said "televisual." *swoon*
This year's Golden Globe winner is....Al Pacino for You Don't Know Jack. That man is a legend, you know. And does he look strangely like a much-older Robert Downey Jr. tonight?
9:13 Al Pacino thanks Jack Kevorkian, whom he played in the movie. How often do you think Dr. Death gets thanked for anything?
9:15 Rush and Swinton are also presenting Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie. Have you noticed how Judi Dench never comes to awards ceremonies anymore?
The Globe goes to....Claire Danes for Temple Grandin. Look at her, she's not even surprised by this sort of thing anymore. The real Temple is here, which is awesome.
9:22 The commercial for some NBC show used Kelis' "Milkshake." That's really icky.
9:23 Aww, look at Zac Efron, trying to look all grown-up and whatnot. He's introducing The Kids Are All Right, which if you haven't seen it, do so. Such a great movie.
9:24 Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are presenting Best Screenplay. I love that little interaction between Gervais and Carrell, even if it was, yes, mean-spirited. Fey and Carrell are so good together; I hope they work together again.
And the Golden Globe goes to...Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network. I recently managed to snag a copy of the shooting script that he wrote; seriously, its really good. I know I don't like the movie, but that script, man. Also, I've shook Mr. Sorkin's hand before. Be jealous.
9:29 Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth (Captain America and Thor, respectively) are presenting Best Supporting Actress on TV.
The winner is....Jane Lynch, Glee. I like Lynch a lot, don't get me wrong, but I feel like Sofia Vergara was much more deserving this year.
9:30 Lynch thank's Ian Brennen, honestly the best of Glee's three writers. If you don't believe me, he created the Sue Sylvester character. Eat your heart out, Ryan Murphy.
9:31 So they're talking about stars with upcoming films this year, and when they mention Robert Pattinson's going to be in Water for Elephants, they show a shot of Jake Gyllenhaal instead. Bravo, NBC.
9:36 Olivia Wilde and R-Pattz are up, presenting Best Foreign Language film.
And the winner is...In a Better World, from Denmark. This one is Denmark's official submission to the Oscars, so this is really good news for them, especially since it topped the presumed Oscar front-runner Biutiful.
9:38 Helen Mirren is introducing The King's Speech. "You might think this is a British thing." British, indeed.
9:40 Vanessa Williams and Idris Elba are presenting Best Actress in a TV Comedy.
And the Golden Globe goes to....Laura Linney for The Big C. And she wasn't there tonight, which is such a shame. She'll most likely claim the Emmy this summer as well.
9:46 Jane Fonda's been away from the Globes for 25 years? Really? Anyway, she's introducing Burlesque and praising her friend Cher.
9:47 Kaley Cuoco and that guy from White Collar are presenting Best Actor in a Comedy Series. I'll be back with his name in a minute.
And the Golden Globe goes to....Jim Parsons for The Big Bang Theory. He also won the Emmy last year. Cuoco's enthusiasm for her co-star is really sweet.
9:49 Matt Bomer. That's who that guy is.
9:50 Jeremy Irons (Scar!) is presenting Best Supporting Actress with such great Jeremy Irons-ness.
And the winner is....Melissa Leo for The Fighter. Does this mean she has the lead again? She's so excited!
9:53 Amy Adams' "Not me, you!" gesture was a humble touch. But I'm willing to bet somewhere deep down she was thinking "damn straight it should be me up there!"
9:58 Matt Damon is presenting the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert De Niro for all of his career achievements. Though giving the man who was so good in The Godfather Part II, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and Goodfellas a career achievement award when his most recent film involves mostly boner jokes is a bit cheap, if you ask me.
10:05 De Niro really is a class act. They just don't make actors like him anymore.
10:06 Awakenings is one of De Niro's favorite movies. Who knew?
10:07 He's been edited!
10:08 "My movies are like my children, except I can't remake my children in 3-D to bump up the grosses." Well said, sir.
10:10 Kathy Bates is doing television now too. And working with David E. Kelley, no less. Anyone think Harry's Law will be worth watching?
10:13 I keep thinking the intro music is "Angel of Music" from The Phantom of the Opera.
10:14 Its good to know they chose the totally-unconvincing Megan Fox to call The Tourist "funny, sexy, and entertaining."
10:15 Annette Bening is presenting Best Director.
And the Golden Globe goes to...David Fincher for The Social Network. As expected, of course.
10:16 Isn't Fincher supposed to be in Sweden filming The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? I guess he took a break to pick up his award.
10:17 Jimmy Fallon and January Jones are presenting Best TV Comedy. I really did like their cute lip-synching bit, complete with a terrible sync.
And the Globe goes to...Glee. Not all that surprising, though was it completely deserving? That's really the question, isn't it?
10:24 Alicia Keys introduces Black Swan because....? I'm going with "she's awesome."
10:25 Halle Berry is presenting Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical. Here goes nothing....
And the winner is...Paul Giamatti, for Barney's Version. See, I knew that stupid Wonderland perfor...wait, Depp didn't win? They picked someone else instead? Globes, consider yourself redeemed for now; I haven't seen Barney's Version yet, but consider it on my list now.
10:28 Giamatti's speech was really....quiet. Mumbling much?
10:32 Joseph Gordon-Levitt is introducing Inception, which he starred in, you know. He's such a charmer.
10:33 Jeff Bridges is presenting Best Actress in a Drama. Do you think he's miffed that True Grit was completely ignored by the Globes?
And the Globe goes to....Natalie Portman, Black Swan. Man, someone off screen is really happy about that, judging by the screams. So there you have it folks, Portman vs. Bening for the Oscar: It. Is. On.
10:35 She thanked her boyfriend/choreographer Benjamin Millepied. She's got a good sense of humor.
10:37 Ricky Gervais is bringing out Tom Hanks and Tim Allen to present Best Comedy/Musical. I like their opening skit ("A young woman leaves home to go to Hollywood. Pretty much everyone in this room.").
And the winner is...The Kids Are All Right. Because somewhere along the line, the Globes realized their folly this year and have taken the necessarily steps to make amends with good taste. Thank you, HPFA. You've done well.
10:43 I still don't understand "To the cloud." Its Windows Live, yes, but what are they talking about?
10:46 Sandra Bullock is presenting Best Actor in a Drama. And she doesn't seem too happy to be there. What's with the monotone?
The winner is...Colin Firth, The King's Speech. You know, as far as the movie side of the Globes goes, there hasn't really been a change from every other award given out this year. Firth won, Fincher won, Portman won, Bale won, Leo won...here's hoping something unexpected happens in Best Picture - Drama.
10:50 They're obviously dragging this out to 11. Almost done though!
10:54 Michael Douglas gets a standing ovation as he presents Best Drama. Again, its so good to see him healthy again. Here's to a long life!
And the final Golden Globe of the night goes to....The Social Network. And so the awards domination continues. But is it a Slumdog Millionaire, destined to ride high all the way to the Oscars, or is it a Brokeback Mountain, leading the way only to have the rug pulled from under it on Hollywood's biggest night? Only time will tell there.
So there you have it, folks. The Golden Globes are over. Sometime this week, maybe tomorrow, I'll post my final Oscar predictions (can you believe those are only nine days away!?) based on what happened tonight.